MEMO FROM ACCOUNTING DEPARTMENT TO ALL CORPORATE AND STORE EMPLOYEESIt has come to our attention recently that many of you have large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (Code 5309). We need to know exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time. Below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities. The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job-code list immediately on the squirrel and let us know about any difficulties you encounter. Suggestions for other job codes are welcome.
Thank you,Accounting
Attached:
Extended Job-Code List Code Description5316 Useless Meeting
5317 Obstructing Communications at Meeting
5318 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
5319 Waiting for Break
5320 Waiting for Lunch
5321 Waiting for End of Day
5322 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker
5323 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker Who is Not Present
5393 Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend
5400 Explaining Concept to Coworker Who is Not Interested in Learning
5401 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid
5402 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates You
5403 Trying to figure out spec
5410 Yelling Full Hands
5411 Cursing at lack of Rolls
5412 Pre-bussing
5414 Bussing your own tables
5420 Running your own food
5421 Running someone else's food
5430 Deep cleaning
5440 Waiting for bartender to make your drinks
5441 Waiting for guest to get off their cell phone
5442 Waiting to get signed out by closer
5443 Waiting for recook
5444 Explaining to cook that something was left off of plate
5445 Explaining C-serv
5446 Arguing with cook that steak is not as ordered
5460 Doing sidework
5461 Doing someone else's sidework
5462 Greeting someone else's table
5463 Being a team player
5464 Being a zone buddy
5470 Looking for a manager
5471 Looking for another manager
5481 Buying Snack
5482 Eating Snack
5490 Trying to remember when we stopped having honey butter
5500 Filling Out Timesheet
5501 Inventing Timesheet Entries
5502 Waiting for Something to Happen
5503 Scratching Yourself
5504 Sleeping
5510 Feeling Bored
5511 Feeling Horny
5600 Complaining About Lousy Job
5601 Complaining About Low Pay
5602 Complaining About Long Hours
5603 Complaining About Coworker (See Codes #5322 & #5323)
5604 Complaining About Boss
5605 Complaining About Personal Problems
5606 Complaining about sidework
5607 Complaining about not getting cut
5608 Complaining about not getting sat
5609 Complaining about getting double sat
5620 Complaining about tipping out weed wacker
5640 Miscellaneous Unproductive Complaining
5701 Not Actually Present At Job
5702 Suffering from Eight-Hour Flu
5810 Sexually harassing a co-worker
5811 Sexually harassing a guest
5812 Getting a guest's phone number for personal use
5900 Talking about the movie "Waiting"
5901 Repeating an action from the movie "Waiting"
6102 Ordering Out
6103 Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive
6104 Taking It Easy While Digesting Food
6200 Using Company Resources for Personal Profit
6201 Stealing Company Goods
6202 Making Excuses After Accidentally Destroying Company Goods
6203 Using Company Phone to Make Personal Calls
6204 Using Company Phone to Make Calls to Sell Stolen Company Goods
6205 Hiding from Boss
6206 Gossip
6207 Planning a Social Event (e.g. vacation, wedding, etc.)
6210 Feeling Sorry For Yourself
6211 Updating Resume
6212 Faxing Resume to Another Employer/Headhunter
6213 Out of Office on Interview
6221 Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching
6222 Pretending to Enjoy Your Job
6223 Pretending You Like Coworker
6224 Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality They are Jerks
6238 Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing
6350 Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl
6601 Running your own Business on Company Time (See Code #6603)
6602 Complaining
6603 Writing a Book on Company Time
6611 Staring Into Space
6612 Staring At Computer Screen
6615 Transcendental Meditation
6701 Smoke break
6711 Rolling Silverware
6712 Doing a crossword puzzle
6713 Playing the video game in the bar
6714 explaining to guest that we are 86 something
6800 Eating food from a customer's plate
6801 Making your own salads
6969 Beating off in Broom Closet
7281 Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)
7400 Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone
7401 Talking With Plumber on Phone
7402 Talking With Dentist on Phone
7403 Talking With Doctor on Phone
7404 Talking With Masseuse on Phone
7405 Talking With House Painter on Phone
7406 Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone
7419 Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professional on Phone
7425 Talking With Mistress/Boy-Toy on Phone
7500 Calling Phil
7501 Calling corporate
7502 Miscellaneous cell phone use
7931 Asking Coworker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity
8000 Recreational Drug Use
8001 Non-recreational Drug Use
8002 Liquid Lunch
8100 Reading e-mail
8102 Laughing while reading e-mail
8103 Reading text mail
8104 Blogging
8210 Spending time on squirrel changing job codes
8220 Writing on the management dry-erase board